Lovers Diary

Cum on my Foot

December 8, 2020 — Leave a comment

I moved away from my beloved toxic bigger city to calm the fuck down a little bit. Party girl be party girl though and hop on that ferry, off to the weekend shenanigans. Fashion party, that reliable big sister best friend, here we are at who? I forget. Someone’s birthday  party at some club where everybody is important, because that is how the city runs. If everybody is important, who isn’t then? I love dancing in clubs because of the loud music, louder than is ever civilized within one’s own home. I love the energy of the people. Most of the time I refuse drinks, even water, from strangers. Stranger danger 101.

Unless, that shadow side comes out. She is like, oh no no no, get the drinks. Get the random person…persons. Get that flailing and off you go. I think I fell four times slipping in alcohol that night, five inch high heels can be a long way down when you are used to being closer to the ground without such height. The bounce factor when you are drunk is impressive how resilient you seem.

Don’t bother telling your friends where you go. Just whisk off with these guys to some modern expensive apartment. Seven guys and one girl here? That seems logical. They continue to drink and I continue to pursue. The guy I was thirsting over was married, I think, I remember seeing a ring and yelling at him (I yell a lot when drunk, like a lot), and he gave evasive answers or no answers. I’ve noticed many best friend dynamics over the years, and it is interesting to me. This guy’s best friend had a foot fetish which I was unaware of until he came on my foot.

My pursuit of having sex with the I think he was married guy, did not happen. Instead, somehow the three of us ended up in a twin sized bed of the best friend in I think a guest room. There, they are both naked enough, and I am mostly naked. Here, I am making out with whom I am pursuing, and the best friend is watching. I end up giving a hand job to my pursuit, which was a cry of disappointment from my goal of sex. They were giggling and having the kind of intimacy over this situation that made me believe they do this often and have a routine. That the bond is with each other rather than the random girl of the night. I remember earlier in the night the best friend talking to me about a girl from Maxim magazine he knew while I sat on the lap of the pursuit and listened intently. I don’t remember if my pursuit came, but I imagine he would have. All I remember is it was so early in the morning, here we are, they are lying down and I am sitting up facing towards them, in-between. Ever so gently, the best friend takes my foot and just begins holding my foot while using his other hand to masturbate himself. Then he came. He came on my foot.

That was the first time someone had cum on my foot. I cleaned up, I left, with all the polite goodbyes. Never to see or speak to any of them again.

Writing all of this now, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have fucked each other to be honest.

The Sadist

September 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lovers Diary Part VI,

I love being single right now. Days are busy, at times near overwhelming with all the tasks, but they are things to improve my life and Mr. Baby’s so I am glad.

The sadist is an eclectic mix I met a couple days ago. A mix I have not knowingly met before. Woodsy, nerdy, playful, dominant, sadist, refined style, and sweet. He builds things, grows aquarium, plants, camps regularly, built a cabin, makes animal skull lamps, and soups up big trucks and toy trucks for his kids. Yet, he has an air of sweetness about him that is so inherent no amount of sadism can drown it out. Fresh into sadism, introduced by a girl he dated or saw after breaking up with his ex. I see him as a thirsty new vampire that needs to learn to control his new urges. I was introduced to kink young, at 15, and many I have met into kink were introduced that young or younger. There always seems to be a person that is the catalyst though. It was inside of you and just needed them to activate it. The sadist is a hiccup away from mid life. He knows I am 1% submissive (that test is fun), but he still pursues me. A redhead lover he is, what a surprise. Trying to collect all the gingers like pokemon. We have a lot in common that I did not expect us to, I liked him because of plants, I did not expect him to be so…suitable to what I want and need right now. He came over wearing a shirt of a synth band my ex had introduced me to, some more obscure genre, and the sadist loves the artist, among a few others. It is weird to meet the chance of him being into the same synth artists. I see it as synchronicity and I am on the path I want to be right now.

I told the sadist not to bother with me because I am not a submissive. He says to me, “what am I going to do with you?” I reply, “go find one of your ginger subbies and leave me alone”.

He keeps pursuing.

I told him I would gladly have a submissive girl with him. I attract dominant men, the kind that like their equal or are egalitarian. I hope he finds a local sub so he leaves my porcelain skin alone. Like pushing a tiger away, no kitten. They growl, flicker their tail, and strut off.

He wouldn’t let me on top cowgirl style which has not happened in my life…ever. I am still pouting over it. But he is into face sitting, isn’t that counter?  He is rough but controlled, which I respect, and I can take a lot as I am strong and if I am in the mood. I like about him he doesn’t want to do sadism on someone not into it. He doesn’t like if someone says they did it for him he wants them to LOVE it. I am like that too. He shows me the girls he messages and I find it endearing the level of friendship we have already. I have affection for him and I tell him that. My first impression is I don’t see him as a boyfriend or a husband, but I think he is going to be a wonderful friend and companion at the very least. I have always wanted to learn ropes and he knows a little, he was stoked at the idea of going to lessons together. Except, neither of us will let one another tie each other up. So…we need to find rope bunnies. Oh, I got 100% rigger on that cute little BDSM quiz before too, and have been interested for many years in the art of it. I used to attend as many fetish shows as I could locally and in the bigger city. I miss them.

I would love to ask him if he can make some videos with me, I feel like…he would say yes. I also don’t want to be rude and ask right away. Our conversations flow easily and we have much in common. I find him amusing, he finds me amusing back. I had not deep throated in a long ass time. Still got it. He fucked my mouth and I enjoyed it. Would I enjoy it everyday? Nope. We cuddled, then he got on top of me. Like a brat, I put my arms back defiantly. He held my throat, then a little too much, I swatted him. His disappointments are playful. I rolled on top of him, and kissed him, he got me back down on the other side. Dang. We went to the bedroom, and my bed is no longer a virgin. You never forget your first, right? My bed frame is atrocious and loud especially for someone that vigorous. He is a gentleman and determined I came first, he went down on me, very, very well. He fucked me missionary and doggy, he came in my mouth and I was pleased.

He has a submissive coming over this week, a crazy one it sounds like. He said to me he had dumped her a few weeks ago because she wanted the house, family, etc and he thinks her motivations are inaccurate. I said listen to your gut, don’t let your hunger cloud your long-term safety. Also, hide all your fucking vulnerable shit and documents. No, I am serious. He said, yeah, maybe I won’t see her. Well, whatever his decision is, I hope he figures it out and sticks to it.

See how it goes. I would love to see him again, I will circle back around to his yard if he has drama with this suspicious submissive. I hope he finds a healthier one, pretty sure a dame like that would not be into a lady sadist being involved in equation and I don’t need some crazy bitch in my business when things have been so peaceful since I kicked out the ex. The sadist messages and we talk everyday, morning, afternoon, lunch, after work, evening. With saying that, I have an older Norweigan to see next week, I love my older men. I already know I won’t be tickled the same way as the sadist. The sadist has my affections, but I am committed to not being too involved until I understand how responsible he is for himself and figuring out his sadistic urges. Let’s see how this goes.

He kind of reminds me of the Camper Van lover. I can’t quite put my finger on what yet. Except they both are woodsy, it isn’t that, it is something different. Actually, I wonder where he is now a days. Last I spoke to him he was funding a start-up tech company in San Francisco.

xoxo

Chloe

The First Threesome

July 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lovers Diary, Part IV

Personally, I am not a fan of threesomes. I understand it is a common fantasy for most, and for some it may work out. Me? Each one has sucked in some shape or form. I did gain the most from my very first threesome in terms of an evolution of my likes and being introduced to kink.

Here I was, 15, or more like 15 3/4. You know how important it is to specify how close you are to an older age when you are that young. There was me, my bisexual but more gay than straight boyfriend at the time, and a friend I would fuck a number of years later. It was a tame threesome, but when you are that young, anything is wild. We were at my then boyfriend’s grandma’s house where he lived. I would later be banned from visiting him there because I was apparently the bad influence. He was 18, I was 15. Just saying. His house wasn’t the only guy’s house I had been banned from as a teenager. I feel like over the years people I have spoken with and what started kink for them. There is a very defining moment burned into your memory. Those emotions make the past crisp and clear, or so it seems.

They were in their underwear, in my then boyfriend’s bedroom. I was in mine and they licked me gently from top to bottom. A story for another day is that I lost my virginity to that same boyfriend. Purposefully chose this boyfriend for that task, for the sole reason of I didn’t want to lose my virginity to someone I loved. I used to read as much as possible in the library, the loner I was, the little goth girl loner. Black hair, too thick raccoon eyeliner, tacky glitter and top to bottom black attire. Oh, but I had pink underwear on. Not thongs yet. Just full bum. I had read that you remember who you lose your virginity to the most because of the emotions. I read how oxytocin makes you attached to a man, especially as a female, once you have sex, POOF, attached. I sought out to connect my body to not associate sex and orgasms with attachment unless I chose to consciously. I used to read AskMen all the time and who knows what other guy blogs or things I probably shouldn’t have read as a teenager. I also had a subscription to Cosmopolitan and I took each advice column very seriously. Yes, even the ice cube and mint bubblegum blowjob articles. I tried it all and took it as seriously as anything I could at the time besides schoolwork. When I wasn’t studying school, I was either watching some sex education show, sexting over MSN with a boyfriend, reading about sex, or having sex.

To be honest, there was nothing too specific about that experience in being kinky. More so it opened my eyes to a world outside of Missionary. Okay, I was never a missionary girl. The next boyfriend I would be pouring wax on top of when I was 16 (the one after). This current boyfriend was more gay than straight, and he kind of went off a bit after we broke up. A number of years later I would sleep with the second guy, the non-boyfriend. Some of the worst sex of my life.

No, really.

xoxo,

Chloe