The Lovers Diary, Part IV

Personally, I am not a fan of threesomes. I understand it is a common fantasy for most, and for some it may work out. Me? Each one has sucked in some shape or form. I did gain the most from my very first threesome in terms of an evolution of my likes and being introduced to kink.

Here I was, 15, or more like 15 3/4. You know how important it is to specify how close you are to an older age when you are that young. There was me, my bisexual but more gay than straight boyfriend at the time, and a friend I would fuck a number of years later. It was a tame threesome, but when you are that young, anything is wild. We were at my then boyfriend’s grandma’s house where he lived. I would later be banned from visiting him there because I was apparently the bad influence. He was 18, I was 15. Just saying. His house wasn’t the only guy’s house I had been banned from as a teenager. I feel like over the years people I have spoken with and what started kink for them. There is a very defining moment burned into your memory. Those emotions make the past crisp and clear, or so it seems.

They were in their underwear, in my then boyfriend’s bedroom. I was in mine and they licked me gently from top to bottom. A story for another day is that I lost my virginity to that same boyfriend. Purposefully chose this boyfriend for that task, for the sole reason of I didn’t want to lose my virginity to someone I loved. I used to read as much as possible in the library, the loner I was, the little goth girl loner. Black hair, too thick raccoon eyeliner, tacky glitter and top to bottom black attire. Oh, but I had pink underwear on. Not thongs yet. Just full bum. I had read that you remember who you lose your virginity to the most because of the emotions. I read how oxytocin makes you attached to a man, especially as a female, once you have sex, POOF, attached. I sought out to connect my body to not associate sex and orgasms with attachment unless I chose to consciously. I used to read AskMen all the time and who knows what other guy blogs or things I probably shouldn’t have read as a teenager. I also had a subscription to Cosmopolitan and I took each advice column very seriously. Yes, even the ice cube and mint bubblegum blowjob articles. I tried it all and took it as seriously as anything I could at the time besides schoolwork. When I wasn’t studying school, I was either watching some sex education show, sexting over MSN with a boyfriend, reading about sex, or having sex.

To be honest, there was nothing too specific about that experience in being kinky. More so it opened my eyes to a world outside of Missionary. Okay, I was never a missionary girl. The next boyfriend I would be pouring wax on top of when I was 16 (the one after). This current boyfriend was more gay than straight, and he kind of went off a bit after we broke up. A number of years later I would sleep with the second guy, the non-boyfriend. Some of the worst sex of my life.

No, really.

xoxo,

Chloe