The Lovers Diary Part VI,
I love being single right now. Days are busy, at times near overwhelming with all the tasks, but they are things to improve my life and Mr. Baby’s so I am glad.
The sadist is an eclectic mix I met a couple days ago. A mix I have not knowingly met before. Woodsy, nerdy, playful, dominant, sadist, refined style, and sweet. He builds things, grows aquarium, plants, camps regularly, built a cabin, makes animal skull lamps, and soups up big trucks and toy trucks for his kids. Yet, he has an air of sweetness about him that is so inherent no amount of sadism can drown it out. Fresh into sadism, introduced by a girl he dated or saw after breaking up with his ex. I see him as a thirsty new vampire that needs to learn to control his new urges. I was introduced to kink young, at 15, and many I have met into kink were introduced that young or younger. There always seems to be a person that is the catalyst though. It was inside of you and just needed them to activate it. The sadist is a hiccup away from mid life. He knows I am 1% submissive (that test is fun), but he still pursues me. A redhead lover he is, what a surprise. Trying to collect all the gingers like pokemon. We have a lot in common that I did not expect us to, I liked him because of plants, I did not expect him to be so…suitable to what I want and need right now. He came over wearing a shirt of a synth band my ex had introduced me to, some more obscure genre, and the sadist loves the artist, among a few others. It is weird to meet the chance of him being into the same synth artists. I see it as synchronicity and I am on the path I want to be right now.
I told the sadist not to bother with me because I am not a submissive. He says to me, “what am I going to do with you?” I reply, “go find one of your ginger subbies and leave me alone”.
He keeps pursuing.
I told him I would gladly have a submissive girl with him. I attract dominant men, the kind that like their equal or are egalitarian. I hope he finds a local sub so he leaves my porcelain skin alone. Like pushing a tiger away, no kitten. They growl, flicker their tail, and strut off.
He wouldn’t let me on top cowgirl style which has not happened in my life…ever. I am still pouting over it. But he is into face sitting, isn’t that counter? He is rough but controlled, which I respect, and I can take a lot as I am strong and if I am in the mood. I like about him he doesn’t want to do sadism on someone not into it. He doesn’t like if someone says they did it for him he wants them to LOVE it. I am like that too. He shows me the girls he messages and I find it endearing the level of friendship we have already. I have affection for him and I tell him that. My first impression is I don’t see him as a boyfriend or a husband, but I think he is going to be a wonderful friend and companion at the very least. I have always wanted to learn ropes and he knows a little, he was stoked at the idea of going to lessons together. Except, neither of us will let one another tie each other up. So…we need to find rope bunnies. Oh, I got 100% rigger on that cute little BDSM quiz before too, and have been interested for many years in the art of it. I used to attend as many fetish shows as I could locally and in the bigger city. I miss them.
I would love to ask him if he can make some videos with me, I feel like…he would say yes. I also don’t want to be rude and ask right away. Our conversations flow easily and we have much in common. I find him amusing, he finds me amusing back. I had not deep throated in a long ass time. Still got it. He fucked my mouth and I enjoyed it. Would I enjoy it everyday? Nope. We cuddled, then he got on top of me. Like a brat, I put my arms back defiantly. He held my throat, then a little too much, I swatted him. His disappointments are playful. I rolled on top of him, and kissed him, he got me back down on the other side. Dang. We went to the bedroom, and my bed is no longer a virgin. You never forget your first, right? My bed frame is atrocious and loud especially for someone that vigorous. He is a gentleman and determined I came first, he went down on me, very, very well. He fucked me missionary and doggy, he came in my mouth and I was pleased.
He has a submissive coming over this week, a crazy one it sounds like. He said to me he had dumped her a few weeks ago because she wanted the house, family, etc and he thinks her motivations are inaccurate. I said listen to your gut, don’t let your hunger cloud your long-term safety. Also, hide all your fucking vulnerable shit and documents. No, I am serious. He said, yeah, maybe I won’t see her. Well, whatever his decision is, I hope he figures it out and sticks to it.
See how it goes. I would love to see him again, I will circle back around to his yard if he has drama with this suspicious submissive. I hope he finds a healthier one, pretty sure a dame like that would not be into a lady sadist being involved in equation and I don’t need some crazy bitch in my business when things have been so peaceful since I kicked out the ex. The sadist messages and we talk everyday, morning, afternoon, lunch, after work, evening. With saying that, I have an older Norweigan to see next week, I love my older men. I already know I won’t be tickled the same way as the sadist. The sadist has my affections, but I am committed to not being too involved until I understand how responsible he is for himself and figuring out his sadistic urges. Let’s see how this goes.
He kind of reminds me of the Camper Van lover. I can’t quite put my finger on what yet. Except they both are woodsy, it isn’t that, it is something different. Actually, I wonder where he is now a days. Last I spoke to him he was funding a start-up tech company in San Francisco.
xoxo
Chloe